Yup. This batch of headlines went to press.

• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
• Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
• Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
• New Study of Obesity looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the winner is….

• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Tags: funny, headlines

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