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Dog Massage Hollywood Style

Dog massage. Because people are crazy. And in Beverly Hills they are craziest.

For the richest of the rich, there is now a luxury spa for dogs. The faulty logic goes like this – if the owners like it, they think naturally, their dog will like it too, so our little canine pups are treated to dog massages, doggy yoga, doggy facials, jacuzzis, and aromatherapy (vanilla and lavender? Not rotting fish?.)

All of this administered earnestly by doting specialists with fake diplomas.

Best line by Triumph the Dog in this Conan O’Brien clip “What’s it like being the reason Al Quaeda hates us?”

Worst idea – that this upscale spa that caters to dogs has really taken off.

The Manualist Plays Guns N Roses Funny Video

His name is Gerry Phillips and he is the manualist. He has been playing songs on his hands for 38 years. Yes. His hands. He squeezes his hands together and farts out notes in perfect pitch.

Here the manualist plays Sweet Child o Mine, by Guns N Roses.

His repertoire is huge – and varied, Carmen the opera, Bohemiam Rhapsody, Super Mario and Star wars theme songs.

Millions and millions of youtube hits…

What will the manualist play next?

Macrida Patterson Sues Victoria’s Secret for Defective Thong

Product liability lawsuit of the day.

It’s true – 52 year old LA resident Macrida Patterson sues underwear company Victoria’s Secret for a defective thong. Now before your mind goes wandering to all ways one could incur crazy thong injuries, I will spoil your fantasies by telling you that the thong injury was to her eye. Our sue-happy lass Macrida Patterson was trying on a thong, when a decorative metallic piece came loose, flew off and struck her in the eye causing permanent corneal damage.

Listen up all you lazy-ass litigious people making the world a worse place for the rest of us – this type of lawsuit is called a product liability lawsuit. Product liability lawsuits are there because there is a product liability law ensuring that manufacturers be responsible for their wares. There are tons of product liability cases and lawsuits – mostly because of defective product lawyers who know that the product doesn’t even have to be defective for there to be a product liability lawsuit. Manufacturers must make sure to protect consumers and if necessary provide warnings when potential hazards accompany specific products.

The Victoria Secret thong in question is called the “low rise v string.” It us unsure whether Victoria’s Secret will provide warnings on their “Sexy Little Thing” line that their underwear might turn into slingshots in dressing rooms.

In the meantime one might consider wearing protective goggles in the change room.

Macrida Patterson’s defective product attorney, Jason Buccat, claims that the injury was caused by the metal decoration’s “design problem” and that the eye injury, which caused Patterson to miss a few days of work, will be “affecting her the rest of her life.”

Defective product lawyers can be found advertising their wares on the backs of telephone books and on late night TV where other classy acts can be found.

[tags] macrida patterson, thong lawsuit, woman injured by thong, victoria secret lawsuit, victoria secret thong lawsuit [/tags]

Exercising At Work Is Hilarious With The Hawaii Chair

The Hawaii Chair exercise machine combines the ancient art of the Hula with the other equally famous time-proven art – selling miracle weight loss cures that promise big benefits for little effort.

The patented 2,800 RPM Hula motor creates an easy-to-use waistline slimming and fat burning aerobic workout exercise machine that takes the work out of your work.

After watching this video, we believe it will also remove work from your LIFE, because really now – which office do you know would allow this much “fun” at the desk? And if you know of some, send the info here because I want to apply.

From Perfect USA company. Of course.

[tags]Hawaii chair, ridiculous inventions, exercise machines, exercise scams, hula [/tags]

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt & Suri Cruise Named Most Influential Infants

Shiloh jolie pitt
In a world crazy for awards, we now have the first ever Most Influential Infant Award. From Forbes.

Now I no longer need to worry that Britney or Paris will infect my behaviour. I will have to be vigilant lest a new urge to thumbsuck or pick my nose take hold.

Yes, Forbes saw fit to find out which Hollywood babies have the most effect on pop culture.

Here’s how they did it. They looked at

web presence and press clippings for more than 50 A-list offspring (5 years old and younger) over the course of a year. Then, with a whittled-down list, we reached out to Encino, Calif.-based polling firm E-Poll Market Research for both awareness data for the kids and consumer-appeal rankings for their celebrity parents.

So, remember. Being photographed means you are influential. Call the paps now.

[tags] Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Suri Cruise, Forbes, most influential infants [/tags]

Leningrad Cowboys & The Red Army Choir Sing Sweet Home Alabama

See – isn’t that better when everyone plays nice?

[tags] funny video, music, Leningrad cowboys, Red army choir, Sweet Home Alabama [/tags]

Wacky Japanese Commercial Starring A Creepy Dog Puppet

It’s an ad for chips.

[tags] funny video, Japanese commercial, wacky ad, chips [/tags]

Japanese Commercial with BALLS!

There’s lots of growth going on at this Japanese construction company.

[tags] funny commercial, wtf, japanese commercial, balls, little red riding hood [/tags]

Move Over Horses, It’s Time For Bunny Show Jumping

We initially thought this was a trailer for a new film by master spoofer Christopher Guest (Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, Spinal Tap). But on closer inspection it turns out this is for real.

Yes, the wikipedia tells us rabbit hopping began in the late 1970s in Sweden, and there are now more than fifty rabbit show jumping clubs throughout Scandinavia.

This video is a compilation of 5 clips from a Danish bunny lover site taken at various rabbit show jumping events.

We can hardly wait till hamster speed wheel racing takes off. We’re placing our bets here.

[tags] funny videos, bunnies, show jumping, rabbits [/tags]

Warding Off My Ennui With Lavender

Oh, forgive me for not posting more, but I was at the cottage trying to squeeze the last bit out of summer by soaking up as much sun as possible so that I can make it through the incredibly long winter that is coming up. I only get dial-up Internet at the cottage, and that just is a pain.

It’s certainly not like the Hamptons – all wired, manicured and air-conditioned. Why, I felt like I never left the city.

Oh, I know, I still haven’t posted my pictures from New York’s summer playland. They are coming soon and will be full of delights.

Like this sneak preview.

Lavendar Scented Handles

Aren’t they just swell? These ladies’ shavers come with lavendar-scented handles! Oooh.

You have to hand it to the U.S. for really being a consumer’s paradise. Me and the gals have been complaining about stinky razor handles forever.

But no more. That annoyance is done with. And every time I shave and sniff that rubber handle, my eyes tear up as I think of the Summer of ’07. The Ford times. The LA times, The Hampton times.

Oh – I miss them so!

And to make matters worse, I’m just 2 days back from the cottage, and my tan is all ready fading.

I could really use a hybrid Explorer to cheer me up. I think I’d take it to Montreal for a cafe au lait in a bowl C’est chic. Oh, the things I could do with a hybrid! I think they said it was a lease for a few years.

we_can be bought footer

[tags] razors, dumb things, ford explorer, hybrid [/tags]