Share When four of Santa’s elves got sic and the trainee elves did not produce toys as quickly as the regular ones, Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure. When Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, Santa got stressed out even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found [...]

ShareI wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. The [...]

ShareBitter idealists don’t like to propagate limiting stereotypes and we believe in inclusiveness vs polarization. But some of these were just too damn funny. So here in honour of International Women’s Day, we present the world if it were run by women. Come on! Tell me these don’t make sense! Tags: if women ruled the [...]

ShareWe know WE can keep these. We think YOU can too, if you really set your heart to it. 1. Gain weigh. At least 30 lbs. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. Makes you think. 4. Watch more TV. Thinks for you. 5. Procrastinate more. Start tomorrow. Tags: jokes, new year’s resolutions, [...]

Share1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath. 2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. 3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. 4. I no longer need [...]

Share1. You Are Different and That’s Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3. Dad’s New Wife Robert 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book 6. The Kids” Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her 8. [...]

ShareOnce upon a time, a guy asked a girl “will you marry me?” The girl said, “NO!” And the girl lived happily ever after. She went shopping, dancing, lunching, drank martinis whenever she wanted, always had a clean house, only cooked if she felt like it, had many boyfriends and sex whenever she pleased, never [...]

ShareTwo guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?” The two guys reply, “Well, you [...]

ShareOne day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson EX. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the [...]

ShareTwo guys were out walking their dogs when they pass by a bar. One turns to the other and says “Let’s go inside.” The other man says, “We can’t go in there. They won’t let us in with our dogs.” “No? Watch this,” says the first guy. He puts on a pair of sunglasses, walks [...]