Videoblogs Vlogs | Funny Online Videos | Humor Blog - Part 2

“The Cleanse” Screens At Darryl’s Hard Liquor And Porn Festival



The Cleanse was made for the “69 Hour Film Festival Challenge” part of Darryl’s Hard Liquor And Porn Festival, and it screened at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto a week ago.

Oh, this has nothing to do with the St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival – I just wanted you to see it :)

Filmmakers had 69 hours to complete a 4 minute film which had to include at least 3 of the following 10 items in their films…

  • 2 people in a shower
  • an impossible camera angle
  • a nipple
  • whipped cream
  • this sound -> http://hardliquorandporn.com/img/weasel.wav
  • the line “what’s the biggest tub of mayonnaise you can get?”
  • the sexiest boots you can find
  • a legal disclaimer
  • the word “sputnik”
  • a money shot

We had filmed more items in our film, but had to cut them to fit the time limit.

The Cleanse was directed by Simon Fraser and starring Kirk Brillon, Diana Galligan and moi, Irene Duma (typecast again.)

And just in case you were wondering, Darryl’s festival is a porn parody festival, and the films this year were very funny. It included 2 films screened at this year’s SJIWFF – Teat Beat of Sex by Signe Baumane and Oh, la, la by Isabella Rosselini.

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logo of St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival

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Day 1 – Star Treatment

Limos, swanky hotels, and luscious dinners. That pretty much sums up the rest of the trip. Oh, except for rattlesnakes, frogs and ghosts. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

One of the oddest things about my trip was the fact that I knew I wouldn’t have to worry. It wasn’t until I got off the plane and was walking toward the baggage claim that I thought to myself, hey, all they told me was that someone was going to pick me up at the airport. They didn’t tell me where.

Before I had a chance to worry, there he was. Right at the entrance to the baggage claim.

It was definitely for real now.

holding sign at airport

The kind gentleman put me in a limo before disappearing. The car was something big and black and shiny. It was a…uhhh…not a Ford.

After about a 45 minute drive through the city to the airport…we arrive at the Hotel Roosevelt. It’s right in the centre of Hollywood, on Hollywood Boulevard, across from Graumann’s Chinese Theatre, where the famous walk of stars is. Yeah – we were right in the hub.

And now here’s my room. Sorry about the video quality. I took the video with my cell phone, because my luggage hadn’t arrived yet, but I needed to capture it before I messed it up.

Too cute! I loved my little Cabana Room with its little courtyard. And it was situated right behind the famous Tropicana pool bar.

And I do mean right next door. That noise you hear in the video above is actually a party going on at the pool bar. It was New Line Cinema’s 40th birthday. I figured if I could hear it that well, I should be allowed to see it, so I tried to crash. No luck. I stood in the hall and taped it instead.

Something about “They will go boldly into the future…blah blah blah…bottom line, proud accomplishments, great future, differentiated past, opportunities galore.”

Isn’t Hollywood grand!

we_can be bought footer

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Archetype #41: The Expectant Mother: Freaked Out Edition.

Archetype #41: The Expectant Mother: Freaked Out Edition.

Average age:
38.
Natural habitat: State of high anxiety.
Overheard: Kevin, you CAN NOT wear anti-perspirant — the metal in it can seep out of your armpit and into our baby’s brain!

This last film in the Archetypes trilogy, written and directed by Bitter Irene Duma, premiered at the “One Minute Film And Video Festival” in Toronto.

Narrated and scripted in the style of school propaganda films of the 1950s, Archetypes animated films, produced by BookShorts.com present minutely observed, caustic commentary with brilliant artwork, so the Archetypes happily but lovingly eviscerate the denizens of the contemporary urban world.

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Archetype #36: Beastie Dad


Click To Play

Archetype #36: Beastie Dad.
Average age: 38.
Natural habitat: Back office, skateboard/snowboard shop.
Overheard: NOBODY thinks you’re too old, honey. If it makes you feel better, you can say its research for the store.

You can buy the book from Chapters Indigo.ca or visit BookShorts.com for more information about adapting books to screen.

This is number 2 in the short film trilogy Bitter Irene wrote and directed for BookShorts. Guess what we will be posting tomorrow.

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Archetype #17: The Moodie


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Archetype Number 17: The Moodie.
Average age: 40.
Natural habitat: on a trip to Bhutan to sample yak butter tea.

Overheard: You won’t find me in the sort of joint (the Moodie will often use words like "joint") where it’s two bites of pastel-coloured s— (the Moodie is also fond of profanity) on a plate where some kitchen ponce has made a Jackson Pollock out of coulis!"

It’s shameless self-promotion time. This one minute short was written and directed by our very own Bitter Editor Irene. It’s based on the book Archetypes, written by Mireille Silcoff with illustrations by Kagan McLeod, and is part of the www.BookShorts.com literacy program.

Yay, literacy.

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The Canadian Blues – a Funny Song


The Canadian Blues: A.K.A My Penis Has Shrunk – video powered by Metacafe

What gives Canadians the blues?

Why, if you ask some holiday revelers at the Gladstone Hotel in Toronto, it would seem it’s the weather.

“It’s too warm, it’s too cold. My Penis has shrunk.”

We held a Holiday party at the Gladstone Hotel on Dec 18, 2006. The festivities included a blues verse-writing contest where guests were given a lesson on how to write the blues by PorkBelly frontman and award-winning author, Paul Quarrington, and then let loose to create.

This video shows an abridged version of the collaboratively written song and features Paul Quarrington, Rebecca Caldwell, with some killer solos by Paul Reddick of “Paul Reddick + The Sidemen” and Teddy Leonard, formerly of Fathead. Click on the image above to view the video.

For more info on the party and the instructions on how to write the 12 bar blues, check out the Strange Duck Media blog. That’s our fee for service arm.

Extras:

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