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Sure Lock: A True Poo Story



And you thought that these kinds of things only happen to you…

From adbakery.com

Produced by: Sean Hazell, Adrian Parks.
Directed by: Adrian Parks.
Starring: Renée Percy, David Ivkovic.
Camera: Roy Contreras.
Editing: PlayThrough media, IdeaSync.

Yeah, yeah, we’re late to the game on this one as it’s all ready had 4 million views, but we found it via this brand spanking new site Comedy On Hand which is only 3 days old. It all evens out.

Yeah, yeah, we know the link above leads to “The Cleanse’s” page on Comedy On Hand, which we (Simon Fraser, Diana Galligan, Kirk Brillon and I) made for Darryl’s Hard Liquor and Porn Festival. Your point?

[tags] funny video, funny ads, adbakery, sure lock, home depot, spoof ad, best humiliation stories, Comedy On Hand [/tags]

Come To Our “I Got a Lump Of Coal For Christmas or Channukkah” Party

Coal lumper party

A party for us naughty people. Because naughty people are more fun.

Details of the Coal Lumper Party here.

[tags] Porkbelly Futures, BookShorts, The Gents, Holiday Party [/tags]

“The Cleanse” Screens At Darryl’s Hard Liquor And Porn Festival

The Cleanse was made for the “69 Hour Film Festival Challenge” part of Darryl’s Hard Liquor And Porn Festival, and it screened at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto a week ago.

Oh, this has nothing to do with the St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival – I just wanted you to see it :)

Filmmakers had 69 hours to complete a 4 minute film which had to include at least 3 of the following 10 items in their films…

  • 2 people in a shower
  • an impossible camera angle
  • a nipple
  • whipped cream
  • this sound -> http://hardliquorandporn.com/img/weasel.wav
  • the line “what’s the biggest tub of mayonnaise you can get?”
  • the sexiest boots you can find
  • a legal disclaimer
  • the word “sputnik”
  • a money shot

We had filmed more items in our film, but had to cut them to fit the time limit.

The Cleanse was directed by Simon Fraser and starring Kirk Brillon, Diana Galligan and moi, Irene Duma (typecast again.)

And just in case you were wondering, Darryl’s festival is a porn parody festival, and the films this year were very funny. It included 2 films screened at this year’s SJIWFF – Teat Beat of Sex by Signe Baumane and Oh, la, la by Isabella Rosselini.

[ Hey, join in on the conversation by posting in the Comments section below. Don't want to miss out on any SJIWFF posts? You can subscribe to Bitter Tonic by email - or with RSS. Huh, what's RSS? ]

logo of St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival

[tags] funny videos, satire, parody, humor, comedy, Darryl’s Hard Liquor And Porn Festival, Simon Fraser, Kirk Brillon, Diana Galligan, Irene Duma, cleanse [/tags]

I Love Newfoundland Lingo

I just spoke with Sherri at The Scope, St. John’s arts and entertainment newspaper and she said to me

“hope you enjoy your stay on the rock and party “right hard” as we say here.”

Party right hard. You gotta love that. You betcha I will Sherri.

The Scope has a mighty cool little blog going on the web. Hmmm – seems the local hip hop scene is alive and well in St. John’s. Phew, I was so worried.

Reading along. New restaurant Bacalao is offering Nouvelle Newfoundland cuisine, like Jiggs Dinner Cabbage Rolls. An updated version of Jiggs Dinner.

all we love about Jiggs Dinner in an appetizer! Salt beef, turnip, potato & carrot in a tender cabbage leaf, on a dollop of pease pudding, with a pot-liquor shooter & homemade mustard.

I’ve never had a Jiggs Dinner, but this sounds like it’s way worth a visit ( 65 LeMarchant Road.) I wonder what they do to pierogies?

By the way, Bacalao is the Portuguese word for cod. I know that because I used to live in Little Portugal in Toronto.

The Scope also has a daily event guide. Just click on the link “What’s going on today?” on the top right of the page under Event Calendar. Easy peasy.

Ahhh, look. There’s a bar called Bitters in town. That’s certainly got my name all over it. (Ah, I kill myself sometimes.)

Wow, Ron Sexsmith, Ontario singer-songwriter extraordinaire, will be in town on Friday the 19th*, the day Archetypes, the 3 films I directed will be screening at the Majestic. I wonder if he will have some time to check out a screening or two while he is in town. If you see him, please direct him to the link of the official SJIWFF schedule. (It works, I’m going to save lots of time not needing to type out the whole name of the festival each time.)

Double wow, Jill Barber’s the opening act. I loooooove Jill Barber. I wonder if she could push back her start time just a bit to see our show. How hard could that be?

The show starts at 8pm, at Holy Heart Theatre. That’s not that far from the Majestic, is it?

*This date was updated after Liz Zetlin kindly noted a blunder in the date.

UPDATE: I loved the lingo so much – I moved to Newfoundland!

[ Hey, join in on the conversation by posting in the Comments section below. Don't want to miss out on any SJIWFF posts? You can subscribe to Bitter Tonic using RSS (huh, what's that?) or by email. ]

[tags] Jill Barber, International Women’s Film Festival, Ron Sexsmith, The Scope, St. John’s, Irene Duma, Bacalao, Newfoundland cuisine [/tags]

Irene Duma is Coming To Newfoundland!

Irene Duma is coming to Newfoundland

It’s true. Isn’t it grand?

Producer of the year Judith Keenan submitted Archetypes, the trilogy of films that I made for BookShorts last year to the St. John’s Women’s International Film Festival and – yippee yay doodah – they got into the festival.

My films will be screening on Friday, October 19, 2007 at 7pm – a very good night indeed – at the Majestic Theatre.

The Majestic! Doesn’t that sound – well – full of majesty!

Not only that – I am the Official Blogger of the Festival!

I am so excited. I also attended the festival 2 years ago where I had the bestest time ever. And you can quote me.

More coming soon. I have to go off and get some walking shoes.

[tags] Newfoundland, Women’s International Film Festiva, St. John’s, Archetypes, bookshorts [/tags]

The Beauty Of The Man Brooch

A question from our dear reader Ally

“Can we see close-ups of the Man Brooch?”

Of course you can.

Here’s Tannis Kynoch, Bitter Tonic editor and creator of the Man Brooch, with a fresh batch from our Summer 2007 collection entitled “I Love Sports and Tinkering In My Workshop Pretty Much The Same.”

Man Brooch Batch with Tannis Kynoch

A close-up.

A batch of Man Brooches

An even closer-upper.

Man Brooch Close up

The “Sandpaper and Screw” is this season’s surprise top seller.

Stay Tuned for our full catalogue of Man Brooches coming to you soon. Join our email list to get the latest on this and other Bitter Tonic exploits.

And please, let us know how the Man Brooch moves you by participating in our Poll to the right or commenting on posts.

Got an idea for the Man Brooch? Send us an email.

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[tags] Man Brooch, jewelery, Ford, Escape From Boredom, bling, style, design, fashion, trends, glamour [/tags]

Day 1 – The LA Parties

    What’s LA without parties? I actually don’t think there is an answer.

    After the taping we attended a cocktail party on the CBS grounds, where we shmingled with cast and crew, and the 5 remaining contestants of “On The Lot.”

    I have to say I think it was just super of Usha Raghavachari, the Escape marketing manager, to agree to let me also use this reception party as a launch party for the Man Brooch. She’s sooooo swell.

    I am also happy that noone asked me which of the five finalists films I liked. I mean, as a writer and filmmaker – with a specialty in comedy and performance – I can be rather opinionated. But I had one goal only for this trip: to launch our Man Brooch line of manly jewelery brooches for men. I mean, you have to remain focused.

    Man Brooch launch at On the Lot

    Everything was just perfect. The weather, the atmosphere, the koi.

    And the Man Brooches – well let’s just say they were a smash hit. I knew LA would love them. They shone like the Hollywood A list.Man Brooch football

    “I’m a line backer, so this football Man Brooch speaks to me,” said Howard.
    I don’t drive a Ford, but this one’s ok

    “I don’t need to drive a Ford to wear a Ford Man Brooch.”

    zach

    “I feel the Man Brooch will help me to make better films – and could even sway the judges.” Said Zach Lipovsky, “On The Lot” finalist.

    girls love the man brooch

    “Oooh. We love a man in a Man Brooch!”

    I gotta tell you, I think I know how the contestants feel when their films are a hit with the judges. They feel real good.

    Onwards to swanky Social for more socializing.

    Absolutely loved the wallpaper. nice wallpaper

    I think I’ll redo my dining room in a very similar pattern. What do you think? my new wallpaper

    At Social, I felt I could finally relax after such a successful day. The dinner was divine. The company extraordinary. I am still reeling at the loveliness and friendliness of everyone we meet.

    And their energy. There’s still one more party at the Tropicana Bar and everyone is raring to go. My kind of people!

    tropicana bar at night

    Somebody tell me. Is that Christian Slater?

    tropicana bar at night

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    [tags] On the lot, Zach Lipovsky, Ford, escape from boredom [/tags]

Man Brooch is Here…

Man brooch - the launch

Finally, it’s time has come – the last frontier of jewelery for men – the Man Brooch. And just in time to coincide with Irene’s trip to L.A! We couldn’t be more thrilled.

That’s right, man brooches, the missing link in jewelery for men. How many times have you stared down at your shirt – a vast expanse of unadorned, unmined, uncharted territory and thought – this really needs something?

“I don’t want to market polo or those silly little alligators, I want to make a statement of my own, my own manly statement in bling.”

Taras, 49, Toronto, ON.

Whether you’re interested in sports, hunting, home repairs or meat, there is a man brooch for you…

And of course, they’re sturdily built (with boat glue) to make sure they’re “fight friendly.”

Check out Irene’s exploits in Hollywood as she introduces the latest fashion trend to men right on the strip.

Tell us what you think of the man brooch by participating in our poll to the right, or if you don’t want to be confined to a set of pre-defined answers, enter your own comment below.

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[tags] jewelry, comedy, Escape from Boredom, Hollywood, Man Brooch, Ford, bling, style, design, fashion, trends, glamour [/tags]

Irene Duma Is Coming To Hollywood

Irene Duma is coming to Hollywood

Crazy things can happen to those who blog.

Bitter Tonic’s bitterest and seniorest editor has been invited to Hollywood – just for fun!

It’s true. We received a letter from Ford’s handlers saying that they wanted to send Irene to Hollywood so that she could “escape her boredom.” How did they know?

They’re going to put her up in the fancy Hotel Roosevelt, invite her backstage to the “On the Lot” set to mingle with cast and crew, wine and dine her at the newest hotspots, and show her how fun LA is as she drives around taking it all in in a Ford Escape.

Well, who could say no to that?

So, stay keep tuning into Bitter Tonic the next few days as Irene covers the scene in lalaland.

PS. It would be nice if somebody let slip to the Ford people that Irene also really gets bored in March and April. Oh yeah, October, and November too. Even May.

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[tags] Escape from boredom, Ford, On the Lot, Spielberg, Hollywood[/tags]

Archetype #41: The Expectant Mother: Freaked Out Edition.

Archetype #41: The Expectant Mother: Freaked Out Edition.

Average age:
38.
Natural habitat: State of high anxiety.
Overheard: Kevin, you CAN NOT wear anti-perspirant — the metal in it can seep out of your armpit and into our baby’s brain!

This last film in the Archetypes trilogy, written and directed by Bitter Irene Duma, premiered at the “One Minute Film And Video Festival” in Toronto.

Narrated and scripted in the style of school propaganda films of the 1950s, Archetypes animated films, produced by BookShorts.com present minutely observed, caustic commentary with brilliant artwork, so the Archetypes happily but lovingly eviscerate the denizens of the contemporary urban world.

[tags] funny video, animation, literacy [/tags]