I don’t get it. Please explain why the orange is a hit?
I don’t get it. Please explain why the orange is a hit?
While most writers come upon writer’s block at one time or another, the inability to stop self-censoring, the daft have the opposite problem; verbal diarrhea or the inability to shut up. It is a severe infliction and leads them to write ridiculous Twitter posts such as:
“Fucked up the Benz today! 2nd car in a month! Its ok tho sushi & sake with my bestie roxy!”
The daft plus arrogant think they come off sounding real cool when they say things like this.
“Went to the gym this morning. As I left, everyone said I was the best!”
“fan belt light came on in the 911 so now I’m driving the Cayenne Turbo S – the backup, backup car. Trying not to think about the Tesla…” by @joshuabaer.
Tweeting too hard is a site that collects these ridiculous tweets for all of us to see, and to bring a smile to our faces.
Here are the most ridiculous tweets as judged by voters.
Submit other awful tweets to Tweeting Too Hard.
Have you heard about the whack Billy Bob Thornton Interview where the former actor (oooh – did I say actor? Maybe I’ll get in trouble too) cum musician turns into a bratty arse on Canadian radio? Here’s that funny video for you.
Then wait! Before you roll your eyes and dismiss this as just another example of celebrity arrogance and narcissism, or start worrying that there’s nothing left in this world but cheap publicity stunts and shameless acts of juvenile histrionics, there is a very good explanation for this outburst….
See? Billy Bob truly didn’t understand the questions. In order to help him understand our Canadian language, BBT had hired a translator – Mr. Jeremy Fisher – and Fisher just wasn’t very good at his job.
Click on the above movie to hear how the questions sounded to Billy Bob. As you can see, Billy Bob’s answers to Jian Gomeshi’s questions aren’t completely horse crap.
To hear the whole interview you can listen to CBCs Q podcast or watch the video on CBC Q site.
This movie I am King is made by Sean John (Piddly) and stars his very own pouty self. It is one helluva shallow oblivious act of staggering proportion so be prepared for unbelievable cheese and unintended hilarity.
I so wanted this to be a parody, but it isn’t. This is for real. It’s a commercial to sell his new perfume “I am King.” And man – my jaw just dropped.
I hereby rename this video “I Am One Bottomless Ego Honoring Greed, Pretentiousness, The Desire to be above others, and Every ugly cliche of old school power that ever existed. ”
Hmm, you can also call this video “I Am King Shit.” That’s short for all the words above.
It’s interesting to note the dedication:
This fragrance is dedicated to Barack Obama, Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King and all you men out there who take care of your families and respect and treat yourself like the Kings that we are all.
Huh? Ew. What about generosity and altruism?
Also, what is it with women who have no problem playing Stepford fembots in harems? Please donate to my new charity and together we can ” Help Models Say No to Stupid campaigns.”
Rating. 100 years behind the times.
Tusk tusk. Somebody please buy him “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle. Or the “Tao Te Ching.” Or maybe a taco.
Product liability lawsuit of the day.
It’s true – 52 year old LA resident Macrida Patterson sues underwear company Victoria’s Secret for a defective thong. Now before your mind goes wandering to all ways one could incur crazy thong injuries, I will spoil your fantasies by telling you that the thong injury was to her eye. Our sue-happy lass Macrida Patterson was trying on a thong, when a decorative metallic piece came loose, flew off and struck her in the eye causing permanent corneal damage.
Listen up all you lazy-ass litigious people making the world a worse place for the rest of us – this type of lawsuit is called a product liability lawsuit. Product liability lawsuits are there because there is a product liability law ensuring that manufacturers be responsible for their wares. There are tons of product liability cases and lawsuits – mostly because of defective product lawyers who know that the product doesn’t even have to be defective for there to be a product liability lawsuit. Manufacturers must make sure to protect consumers and if necessary provide warnings when potential hazards accompany specific products.
The Victoria Secret thong in question is called the “low rise v string.” It us unsure whether Victoria’s Secret will provide warnings on their “Sexy Little Thing” line that their underwear might turn into slingshots in dressing rooms.
In the meantime one might consider wearing protective goggles in the change room.
Macrida Patterson’s defective product attorney, Jason Buccat, claims that the injury was caused by the metal decoration’s “design problem” and that the eye injury, which caused Patterson to miss a few days of work, will be “affecting her the rest of her life.”
Defective product lawyers can be found advertising their wares on the backs of telephone books and on late night TV where other classy acts can be found.
Something tells us Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn’t given a very accurate description of how one uses the word cumming in the English language.
John Chow thinks that adding Booth Babes to web sites is a good marketing idea. And while 9 out of 10 frat boys beating their concave chests agree, a full 5 out of 5 bitter idealists disagree.
We don’t need more babes. Nope. What we need is more hunks out there selling us items we don’t need.
Yes, the time for Equality in Sexploitation has come, and Bitter Tonic is proud to be at the forefront.
Eye candy for everyone. It’s a glorious world.
In a world crazy for awards, we now have the first ever Most Influential Infant Award. From Forbes.
Now I no longer need to worry that Britney or Paris will infect my behaviour. I will have to be vigilant lest a new urge to thumbsuck or pick my nose take hold.
Yes, Forbes saw fit to find out which Hollywood babies have the most effect on pop culture.
Here’s how they did it. They looked at
web presence and press clippings for more than 50 A-list offspring (5 years old and younger) over the course of a year. Then, with a whittled-down list, we reached out to Encino, Calif.-based polling firm E-Poll Market Research for both awareness data for the kids and consumer-appeal rankings for their celebrity parents.
So, remember. Being photographed means you are influential. Call the paps now.
The trouble is, those who don’t make much money are her very own employees. Or workers, as she calls them.
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”
(as seen on the superficial.)
There’s something so glamorous about LA. And especially soap stars. It’s so true what this video says – it’s all about adding pizazz to your head!
So I am so happy I found these videos from Julie Klauner and Jackie Clarke. When I watch these videos I feel like I am right back in La La Land.
Unfortunately, not all video homages to Brenda Dickson’s “Welcome To Our Home” video series are being appreciated by the former Y&R soap star. She’s posted this almost coherent reproach from outraged “fan” Susan Dennis on her web sitehome page.
In the meantime I am learning all I can about fashion and style from Brenda’s own “classic” videos. When I return to Hollywood, I want to be as fashionable and stylish as possible. My new personal mantra that I picked up from her series is “Style is as important in your life as your look.” I’d say!
Brenda explains to us that “fashion is something that is acquired by looking at a lot of different fashions.”
I didn’t know that.
Watch Brenda’s videos and tell me which fashion is your favourite. Oooh, and let me know if you too found a mantra.
I am also enthralled by Brenda’s official web site. Not only is she stylish, but it turns out she is a savvy business woman too.
You can be sure I’ll be trying out her self-promotion techniques soon.
Comedy, satire, humor, funny online videos and other ways to dull the pain.