A Bitter Nod | Funny Online Videos | Humor Blog

Best Acceptance Speech



For all the bitter people out there who don’t trust the system. You’re right. The system sucks and is set up to duplicate boring, conformist memes.

Here’s Felicia Day from The Guild with last year’s Streamy awards, where she thanks all the casting directors, producers and directors for REJECTING her. If not for them beating her to the ground and getting her all depressed, she would never have picked up a pen, written and produced her own show “around the system.”

Just goes to show, the best way to get somewhere is not always straight through.

There, I Fixed It Good

Here’s a new funny web site out making waves. It’s called “There, I fixed it” and features photos of headscratchingly bad repair jobs, creative use of duct tape or just really bad ideas.

Like the imuffler.

imuffler

imuffler

In the vein of I can has cheeseburger, or Postsecret,
photos are submitted by readers.

Hours fun wasting time await you.

[tags]  funny pictures, bad repair, there, i fixed it [/tags]

Literal Videos Are Funny

Total Eclipse of the heart is a song I loved when I was growing up. Yes. It’s true. It hit my shmaltzy side. I have one and as you can see, it reacts strongly to classic shmaltz.

Though I liked the song,  I never saw the music video for Total Eclipse of The Heart.  Oh, boy, and it’s a good thing, as it would have turned me off the song for life. As it stands, it has only turned me off the song for half my life.

My fave line.

Spin around. NInjas.

Who made this original video? What were they thinking? Why did other people allow this person to make his thinking a reality. Can you imagine sitting at a dinner party close to this writer/director? What would you say to him/her as he told you his great ideas, of how he sees things.

Wow, this video just gets me thinking. And wondering, how did I ever live through the 80s. No wonder I need this much therapy – this was considered normal.

Yo Comments R Whack Funny Song

Sister Salad – are talented and literate video blogging sisters and they have taken offense to haters and their bad grammar.

I am with them. Bitter as I am, I love constructive criticism and a good debate. But a comment that says “Your fat and ugly hore ” just doesn’t hurt as much as criticism coming from a smart person. Sorry haters.

Lyrics:

Oh, my God. Lizz, look at this Youtube comment. It is so grammatically incorrect.

It looks like it was written by an epileptic porcupine who speaks English as a third language.

Yeah, but, you know, who understands those YouTube haters’ comments anyway?

They only spend hours derogatively responding to other people’s videos because they lack the creative capacity to produce compelling and entertaining video content of their own. I mean, their insults, they’re just so…

Lame?

We like proper English and we cannot lie
You YouTubers can’t deny
That when illiterate kids start hating on your vids
With ignorant crass replies
You’re ashamed, of your fellow man
‘Cause you realize they don’t understand
Basic principles of writing
Plus their insults are unexciting
Oh baby, we wanna go meet ‘em
And try to teach ‘em
Some basic diction and grammar
Or smash their heads in with a hammer!

First of all, punctuation
That’s a very good place to start
Just use some, use some
‘Cause otherwise it’s a run-on!
We’ve seen whole comments,
57-word comments,
without a period, comma,
or semicolon to be seen
We’re tired of starin’ at the screen,
Tryin’ to figure out what you mean.
Take a couple seconds to end your sentence,
So you won’t sound thirteen.
So haters! (Yeah) Haters! (Yeah!)
Do your comments need translators? (Yeah!)
Then punctuate. Capitalize.
It makes a difference, guys!
Yo comments are whack.

You like to swear and curse
And use hateful words
You just can’t help yourself, you have to take your feelings out
On innocent people.
Every other word
Is (booop), maybe or, (booop booop).
We’re not looking for Dr. Seuss
Just cut back on the harsh abuse.
You always seem like you’re screamin’
So please turn off your capslock
Gotta tone it down,
Only capitalize proper nouns.
So I’m lookin at Top Videos,
Is that comment talking bout “hose”?
If you’re gonna insult me
At least spell it correctly.

A word to the comment spammers, what are you thinking?
I don’t want you linkin’
To your porno site. in my video about Twilight
And Breaking Dawn.
(Edward’s got it goin’ on)
But to get back to our song
U like 2 type numbers and letters
And we r not sure y
And for some strange reason
You pluralize by adding z’s on.
So haters! (Yeah?) Haters! (Yeah?)
You think I should get a life? (Hell Yeah!)
Well, what about you? You’re spending your time
Watching my supposedly lame video and commenting on it and stuff
Yo comments are whack!

“dood u look liek a emo punk b**** seriusly i want my 4 min back later youtube im out ~johnny”

“wtf r u some kind of gay hobo the best you can do is stick ur head in a toilet u lame dork nurd”

So you’re clearly homophobic, throwin’ words like “queer” and “faggot,”
Or else you refer to racial slurs, regardless
Of whether they apply in con-
Text or make sense at all
You can operate a computer
But you don’t know how to spell
I know some words are tricky
Like “what” and “our” and “know”
You could make some flashcards
It’s really not that hard
Plus you’re callin’ people fat
And we ain’t down with that
‘Cuz you’re hiding behind your username
Like it’s some kinda game.

To the You Tube Haters and Slammers
Just listen to one last thing
While we still have your attention
We’ve got one more thing to mention.
Sometimes “Your” is possessive,
But other times it means You Are.
Put apostrophes when you need em,
And otherwise just delete em.
So haters if you’re too confused
About which form of “their” to use
Go to sistersalad’s YouTube page
And learn some ways to make
Yo comments less whack

Yo comments are whack

Think you’re bein’ clever but yo comments are whack

Can’t even understand you ‘cuz yo comments are whack

Tryin’ to be funny but yo comments are whack

Looking like a hack ‘cuz yo comments are whack

Canadian Culture In Peril Political Parody Video

Known on Youtube as Culture en Péril, this is the English version with subtitles – Culture in Danger.

This is a great satirical video about the recent brouhaha our Canadian Conservative government is causing by adopting a slash and burn attitude to the arts and cultural funding coupled with infringing censhorship measures. ( Did I say coupled? Will someone censor me now?)

***IMPORTANT NOTE: To see subtitles, you need to turn the Youtube captions “on” by clicking on the arrow button at the bottom right of the screen, then hover over the CC symbol and turn the captions “on”. Thanks.***

Quebecer Michel Rivard, band member of ” Beau Dommage” and organizer of a small music festival visits a governmental committee overseeing cultural financing to ask for money to promote their songs in France. What ensues is a slew of translation and cultural misunderstandings as the anglophone bureaucrats in tight suits are are offended by the content due to what they deem are obscenities and censor and reject the application.

The song is called “La Complainte du Phoque en Alaska” – The Complaint of the Seal in Alaska. In Quebec phoque is pronounced like phuk – which tickled me pink when I was 19 and studying French in Montreal.

But I am not 19 anymore, and I am all about the phoques.

I am also vehemently opposed to censorship and believe that there is big trouble ahead when the government gets in the way of art and artists. No good comes from censorship, Stephen Harper. Learn from history please. Actually – learn from the present. The more the government censors – the bigger the hellhole it is to live in. I believe it’s the opposite of freedom.

Moore’s Slacker Uprising is Free Tonight

Michael Moore’s latest film Slacker Uprising is free tonight and available for download on the net.

“This is being done entirely as a gift to my fans. The only return any of us are hoping for is the largest turnout of young voters ever at the polls in November.” – Michael Moore.

Getting things for free is becoming more and more the norm on the Net. Radiohead released their CD for free earlier this year. Slacker uprising is the first major feature-length film that is being available for free on the Net. And it’s all legal. Well – for US and Canadian citizens that is.

Moore says he’d doing it because next year is the 20th anniversary of “Roger & Me,” so he’s releasing this as a gift for his supporters. But the other reason is he wants to entice young and new voters to get out there and vote on Nov. the 4th.

Moore’s latest film “Slacker Uprising” was filmed during the run-up to the 2004 election, as Moore traveled for 42 days across America, visiting 62 cities in a failed attempt to remove George W. Bush from office. His goal was to get a record number of young voters and others who had never voted before out. That was a success – young adults voted in greater numbers than in any election since 18-year-olds were given the right to vote ion the US – and their vote was the only age group that John Kerry won.

Moore also figure that what was happening would make a good film. Thousands of kids were show up each night to volunteer for the slacker army – making the Republicans go crazy.

Go ahead – burn this, copy it, send it to friends. Set up screenings, air it on local cable tv.

The free download is only available to those residing in the United States and Canada.
You can buy the DVD for 9.95$. It is also free to university and school libraries.

The Slacker Uprising Collectors Edition DVD features the full movie and lots of extras, such as:
Noodlegate: Mike Bribes the Slackers
George W. Bueller’s Day Off
Storytime with Mike: My Pet Goat
The O’Reilly Factor for Kids
Crank Calling Pfizer: 212-573-1226
They Worked for George W. Bush
and many more!

http://slackeruprising.com/

“Têtes à Claques” Now in English

“Têtes à Claques” – the funny animated web series from Quebec that has been an all out sensation garnering millions of views in Quebec and France is now being offered in English.

The series was an instant hit when launched a few years ago. “Têtes à Claques” creator Michel Beaudet said when he first launched his French version he sent emails out to 50 friends. Three months later it was the most popular French-language site in Canada, with more than 520 million viewers visiting the web site. The Characters – weird looking clay puppets morphed with human eyes and mouths have also been featured in commercials for Vertigo Pops, and a DVD version featuring the first 45 clips sold 100,000 copies in Quebec by the end of 2007.

“When I did the French version, I sent an email to 50 friends. Three months later, it was the most popular French-language site in Canada,” explains Beaudet from his Salambo Productions studio in Montreal. “We aren’t making a big deal out of it. The media are waiting for us. Even if we have a quarter of the success we had in French, we will be happy.”

While Beaudet acted in the French sketches – I say acted because those are really expressive eyes and lips – the English version is done by actor Bruce Dinsmore (The Myth of the Male Orgasm) and will have several accents.

“We have Scottish, British, Texan, Indian. The accents will make it interesting for people from all over the world.”

I speak French and having watched them in both versions, prefer the original French ones, probably because of the turns of phrases and Quebecois patois that make up the bulk of the comedy. That’s one of the reasons it’s a hit in France too, who turn in to hear the uniquely Quebec expressions, and Franglais where English terms are used within the sentences seamlessly. But I prefer watching foreign movies with subtitles too. Actually, can’t stand dubbing. Can’t.

Not all of the Têtes à Claques skits have been translated yet – the famous Willi Waller potato peeler skit isn’t up yet, so if you can’t wait for it, here’s my translation of the Willi Waller potato peeler in English.

Check out the “Têtes à Claques” web site.

David Byrne And Brian Eno Happen Today

Yay. David Byrne And Brian Eno released a new CD today – well actually yesterday – but the title of the CD is Everything That Happens Will Happen Today so who am I to argue? This is their first collaboration in over 30 years, and I’m listening to it as I write, and I’m all ready in love with the first 2 songs.

I am listening to it on this new fancy pants player from Topspin which I have embedded above.

What timeliness. I have just spent the weekend in workshops at the Our Future in Music conference happening here in St. John’s, Newfoundland this week, where the artists and industry professionals talked about the changing landscape of the music industry, and how traditional music distribution is dead. The big box stores are only interested in selling the hits, so if you are an indie, selling on the web is the way to go.

Also, check out how Everything That Happens Will Happen Today is being distributed. The songs are only available for sale on the CD’s web site for the coming month – then they will be available on other online stores too. They come in a variety of digital versions, from MP3 to FLAC, the latter being a lossless compression so it sounds better than MP3s, and they come with 17 pages of digital liner notes. You can also order a real CD that will be sent to you in Sept – as soon as it is made.

David Byrne writes in his journal that they are doing very little marketing, and he is interested to see how news of the album will travel. Turns out the song was downloaded 40,000 times in the first three days it was available.

Hop on over and download your free MP3 “Strange Overtones” from Everything That Happens Will Happen Today – as they are allowing fans one free download. I just did, and oh man, I am loving it. It has an 80s Love Boat vibe – no – it’s more like the music that used to play on Sunday afternoon golf shows, and a chorus that is unbelievably catchy – it just skims over hokey then soars to be uber cool. Yes yes – they are slightly out of fashion. Kind of like my words in the previous sentence.

This groove is out of fashion
These beats are twenty years old

Have a listen to the CD yourself by clicking on the musical player above. The player streams the songs from the web which they are allowing fans or web site owners to embed onto their websites. It’s as easy as embedding a Youtube video. Go ahead – do it – click share on the player above. I need this album played in huge numbers across the world – whence it will act like a musical Lysol, and cut through the over-processed crap playing on the mainstream radios and tvs, and threatening to choke out my soul.

Ok. That might be a tad overdramatic. But – not really.

Damn – Byrne is touring. He’ll be in Toronto in October. What are the chances he’ll come to St. John’s? Haha. Oh well, just one of the things I have to give up to live in magic Newfoundland.

Oh, didn’t I tell you? I moved here 3 weeks ago. Sorry. Busy.

Newfoundland Fresh Air Painting

This very cool video is of an artist hand-painting a giant billboard 60 feet above Toronto’s Gardiner Expressway. The painting is a 3-D window looking onto Newfoundland and Labrador, and the video was produced over a period of three weeks, as the artist painted the thing in real time.

The superboard is part of Newfoundland and Labrador’s Fresh Air campaign which tempts travellers to escape to the province and leave smog and humidity behind.

Finishing touches are the curtains.

Tropical Thunder CD and Soundtrack

Tropical Thunder 2008 CD is now out!!! It’s only available at Music Space. Take advantage of their super promo – buy 2 CDs you don’t have to pay shipping.

Tropical Thunder – features 35 of the most “boomin island hits” of all time on 2 incredible CDs!

CLICK HERE to buy the Tropical Thunder CD

Check out the amazing tracks you get on the Tropical Thunder soundtrack

01 Get Busy | Sean Paul
02 Whine Up | Kat DeLuna feat. Elephant Man
03 Move Ya Body | Nina Sky feat. Jabba
04 Snake | R. Kelly feat. Big Tigger
05 Never Leave You – Uh Ooh, Oh Oooh! | Lumidee
06 Calabria 2008 | Enur
07 Turn Me On | Kevin Lyttle
08 Make It Clap (Remix) | Busta Rhymes feat. Sean Paul
09 I Fell In Love With The DJ | Che’Nelle feat. Cham
10 Temperature | Sean Paul
11 Footprints | T.O.K.
12 Dude | Beenie Man
13 Can’t Satisfy Her | I Wayne
14 Tempted To Touch | Rupee
15 Elephant Man | Twista, Young Bloodz, Kiprich
16 It Wasn’t Me | Shaggy
17 Gal You Ah Lead | T.O.K.
18 This Is Why I’m Hot (Blackout Remix) | Mims feat. Cham & Junior Reid

That’s Right – 2 CDs

01 No Letting Go | Wayne Wonder
02 Never Leave You (Uh Ooh, Oh Oooh) | Lumidee
03 Give It To Her | Tanto Metro & Devonte
04 Who Am I (Sim Simma) | Beenie Man
05 Oh Carolina | Shaggy
06 Infiltrate | Sean Paul
07 Pon De River, Pon De Bank | Elephant Man
08 Twice My Age | Krystal feat. Shabba Ranks
09 Sexual Healing | Max-A-Million
10 Freaks | Lil’ Vicious
11 Ghetto Red Hot | Supercat
12 Tour | Capleton
13 No Guns, No Murder | Rayvon
14 Hot Gal Today | Mr. Vegas & Sean Paul
15 Mr. Loverman | Shabba Ranks
16 Rough This Year | Dirtsman
17 You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No) | Dawn Penn
18 Sun Is Shining | Bob Marley Vs. Funkstar Del Luxe

Get down with the 35 songs on the Tropical Thunder CD.

As for those of you coming here for the Tropic Thunder the movie CD (I know I know, I get the names mixed up all the time) – the CD isn’t out yet, but they do have a MySpace Page ready for the soundtrack.

They are pulling out all the stops for Tropic Thunder and I have very high hopes for this one. Because Tropic Thunder looks very very funny – and I haven’t been to a comedy that made me laugh in a long time. In fact, I still have to wince every time I think of Wedding Crashers. Owch. Bad one.

But I like Ben Stiller’s brand of quiet satire, and I love the theme of Tropic Thunder – taking the piss out of American films has to be done. And I just love Robert Downey Junior. Period. I am laughing to the Tropic Thunder CD all ready.

So scoping out the the big PR spin of Tropic Thunder we have a new Tropical Thunder Soundtrack site on Myspace ready to go.

An official Tropic Thunder MySpace page will come too. http://www.myspace.com/tropicthunder

And this kickass trailer. I am howling.


Tropic Thunder RED-BAND Trailer #2 HD QUALITYClick here for another funny movie.

Brandon T. Jackson will also be starring in the upcoming film Tropic Thunder as Alpa Chino. That one not so funny – but I have to see it in use to tell for sure.

[tags] tropical thunder, ben stiller, brandon t jackson, [/tags]