Give the gift of laughter.
Presenting Bitter Tonic’s Last Minute Gift Guide for the treasured to the hard-to-buy-for on your list.
These gifts are guaranteed to bring a smile to someone’s face, even if it’s yours.
For your Cynical Sweetie
As the days get shorter and the nights longer and colder, that special cynic in your life will feel at home with “The Doomsday Map of Canada.”
You can dream of your next vacation together in Suicide Hill, Manitoba, or your retirement home in Lac de L’Ennui, Quebec.
This and many other fun maps of Canada, like The Doughnut Map (Cinnamon Hills and Yeast Creek) and The Menstrual Map (Irregular Lake and Cramp Creek) are from The Geist Atlas of Canada
For Your Cheesy Friend, or Father-in-Law.
A barrel of cheese balls. Should say it all.
Mmmm, cheese balls. Mmmm, a whole barrel full.
For the Religious Mother-in-Law.
Rejoice! It’s a miracle! Visions of The Virgin Mary on your piece of toast.
It’s a toast stamper, and it’s from Perpetual Kid.
How did we ever make it through this far by eating unstamped toast, you ask? I don’t know.
For Kids
Remember the good ol’ days, when cigarettes were considered fun toys, and parents modeled good behaviour? Well, turns out loads of fun is still to be had in the US, where candy cigarettes were never banned. Complete with that little poof of smoke that comes from your first drag.
Available at:
For The Chef.
The Anti-Griddle
Betcha that foodie on the list doesn’t have one of these. Betcha hardly anyone has one of these. The anti-griddle is used to instantly freeze things.
This unique innovation allows you to effortlessly freeze sauces and purees solid or develop semi-frozen creations with stable, crunchy surfaces and cool, creamy centers
Think of all the things you can do with this. Then make sure to send us your comments, because we can’t think of anything.
http://www.cuisinetechnology.com/antigriddle.html
Brain Food
For The Chef who wants to impress with fancy desserts. Nothing says “I slaved over the hot stove for you” like a plateful of Jello. And nothing looks more yummy than brain jello.
Brain gelatin mold from the Anatomical Chart Company
“Who’s Been Eating My Cookies”
These cookie cutters make cookies that look like they’ve all ready had a bite taken out of them.
Gives a whole other meaning to the term “regifting.”
From Amazon
For The Recently Heartbroken
The Ex is a lovely Voodoo knife set that should help take some of the edge off the pain.
This Stainless-Steel Knife Set comes with a human effigy as a knife block, and with 5 razor-sharp precision cutting blades.
Available at Amazon.com
For Thine Enemy.
Nothing says it quite like a lump of coal.
Lump O’ Coal: Because You’ve Been Very Naughty with Mini Book and Other
For the Cat
Don’t forget to treat your cat to a holiday gift, with “Kitty Goes Hunting” and its sequel, “Kitty Goes Fishing.” These DVDs are specially made-for-cats and will make sure your feline stays put in front of the tube, along with the rest of your family.
For sale at “The Only Natural Pet Store.”
Oh, the irony.
Tags: funny, gift, guide, lump o coal, Kitty Goes Hunting , Kitty Goes Fishing, DVD, Ex knives, anti griddle, ABC cookie cutters, Geist Atlas of Canada, cheese balls, toast stamper, brain mould, candy cigarettes
[...] post by Bitter Tonic December 11th 2006 Posted to [...]