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What would Facebook be like in reality?

An old school bud that you didn’t like asks you to be friends.

Someone writes on your wall so everyone can see.

And someone else puts up a photo of you drunk, in the tub, with puke and piss all over you, and it’s not even yours.

Welcome to FaceBook in Reality, the funny video, by Idiots Of Ants

Check out the Internet in reality - When Google Invites All Its Internet Friends to Party

And who is your Facebook Stalker?

Tags: funny videos, facebook video, idiots of ants, facebook reality

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People matter, but celebrities matter more.

Here’s a day in the life of celebrity musician John Mayer. Because he’s not been inspired since 1974, and because - well - just because he can, John has hired a team to create for him.

Not only do they create songs for him, they change the face of music.

Have all the chords in music been found? Most people will say yes, but not John Mayer. Nope - and so here’s a new chord M - for Mayer.

Go John Go!

Tags: funny videos, funny celebrities, John Mayer, celebrity life, celebrity parody

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An Engineer’s Guide to Cats is a very good informational video given by two professional engineers who illustrate the proper care and practical benefits of cats. It stars Oscar, Chloe and Ginger - and 2 engineers.

We were very taken with the art talents of Oscar who excels at post modern-cardboard deconstruction, and then again his cardboard performance art skills.

And we’re all for cats as a renewable source of energy.

Gotta run now and measure the aspect ratio of my cats.

PS. None of the cats, humans, or engineers were mistreated in the making of this film. They were however, slightly annoyed.

A funny cat video By Paul Klusman and his cat assistang TJ.

Tags: cats, engineers guide to cats, proper care of cats, funny video, funny cat video, Paul Klusman

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Funniest Valedictorian Speech Ever - Watch more free videos

Here is a funny video of The Funniest Valedictorian Speech Ever given by some kid out there with the natural gift of comedy (our favourite) and the awareness to turn it into social satire.

We Bitter Staff are elated to think that maybe - just maybe - there is hope for the future.

That maybe the effort to strip us of all personality and to bleach our minds from original thought is losing speed. That society’s desire to turn is into a faceless blob of boring, obedient, fearful and apathetic menial workers and killing machines is waning. That maybe - original thought and cleverness are valued more than the ability to look good in a suit.

Nah. It’s probably just an alternative school. Wait till this kid meets the real world. He’ll have some work to do.

Still, we are pleased to note - that somewhere in Canada - people still dare to exercise their right to free speech, and that when they do, they aren’t some ass-kissing self-serving narcissist, or right-wing crazy nutbar religious freak roaring about their supposed superior morality and god given rights to condemn, judge, and criticize others in order to make themselves feel better - and in doing so make it a crummier world for the rest of us. Though - on that latter note, we do support the same nutbar’s right to expression, even if we don’t like what they say. Because bitter idealists know that it’s a better and healthier world when all members of society are not afraid to speak. Come on! Pass it on all ready!

Phew. The power of comedy!

Tags: Canadian high schools, free speech, funny video, funny videos, Liberal thought, valedictorian speech

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A miraculous image of birds appearing in a pancake was observed, then photographed for posterity. Or rather, for selling on Ebay.

This is the text put on the Ebay page selling this photo of one pan fried flapjack.

“See birds in a pancake found while making them for the kids. Around 3×5 in size. No returns.”

We are unclear as to whether it is the pancake that is “around 3×5″ or the picture of the pancake that is 3×5. Nonetheless, details like this are moot when it comes to this miraculous image of birds appearing in your pancake.

When asked, a representative from the International Pancake Appreciation Social Society says that occurrences of birds appearing in pancakes are quite rare, and it is much more common to see Jesus or Mary appearing in the fried dough - a second favourite after appearing on church roofs and walls.

Pancake eaters have said that since this apparition appeared on April 20, 2008, there have been several more bird-in-pancake sightings, and even one detailed and to-scale image of a colony of puffins nesting on a Newfoundland cliff. Unfortunately all evidence of these claims have mysteriously disappeared.

Related is the fact that birds have also been appearing on churches. The secretary of the Council of Churches, Father Mina Panna, said other people had seen a big white, brightly lit pigeon appearing and disappearing - but he said the apparitions were different each time.

But another priest has been quoted as saying he spent the entire night awake and saw only ordinary pigeons, and only plain unadorned pancakes, so it was not a miracle.

This eBay auction is due to close very soon - act now and be the proud owner of this breakfast miracle.

For those who missed out, here is bird in a pancake on ebay - pdf of screenshot.

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You’ve seen the commercials for the colleges - and yeah, they look good. They hook you in. Why - it even makes learning at a stodgy institution look fun.

But when you finally get there, it’s a completely different story.

Here’s an honest ad for Quendelton university - the adequate one. Where it costs your parents an arm and a leg to send you there, and you learn skills with absolutely no practical value at all.

He he he. Yup. I remember university.

Here’s the thing, there were no commercials advertising my university, and it still fit the description above.

Tags: funny commercials, mock commercials, honest college ad

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It’s here, it’s here! Stick a banana in your ear.

It’s the sequel to the infamous and ridiculously funny Charlie the Unicorn goes to Candy Mountain animation. It’s got Charlie, Charlie’s squeaky friends, the vortex. And the lyrics to the Banana song!!!!

They go like this.

Charlie the Unicorn 2 Banana Song

Charlie, you look quite down.
With your big fat eyes, and your big fat frown.
The world doesn’t have to be so grey!

Charlie, when you’re life’s a mess,
When you’re feeling blue, always in distress,
I know what can wash that sad away.
All you have to do is;

Put a banana in you’re ear!
(A banana in my ear?)
Put a ripe banana right into your favourite ear.
It’s true (says who?) So true.
Once it’s in your gloom will disappear.
The bad in the world is hard to hear,
When in your ear a banana cheers,
So go and put a banana in your ear!

Put a banana in your ear!
(I’d rather keep my ear clear.)
You will never be happy if you live your life in fear.
It’s true (says you.) so true,
When it’s in the skies are bright and clear.
Oh every day of every year,
The sun shines bright on this big blue sphere,
So go and put a banana in your ear!

Go to Filmcow’s web site to download great things - like the MP3 of the Banana Song, or
better - the instrumental KARAOKE version of the banana song.

Record yourself singing the Banana song, or make a video, and we’ll post it on our site.

And everyone - thank Zander for the tip off and for the words to the Banana Song! I think he may be the new Banana King!